<p>Be particularly aware of first-paragraph "throat clearing." Often when I edit a student essay, the first thing I do is to delete all or most of the opening sentences.</p><p>For instance, if the topic is "Tell us about an experience that helped you to learn something about yourself," it's common to see an essay that starts something like this:</p><p><strong>People learn about themselves in many ways. Sometimes it is from a pleasant experience and sometimes it is an unpleasant one. Sometimes it takes a while to learn the lesson and sometimes it is learned immediately. But most of us realize that both the good and bad times we have in our lives will teach us lessons that will stay with us forever.</strong></p><p><strong>The day I broke Ephraim McEwan’s Volvo window with a socket wrench was just the beginning. It wasn’t intentional but it wasn’t entirely accidental either … depending, of course, on how “accidental” is defined. For starters, I should tell you that I’m pretty handy with tools. I’ve been repairing my own bike since I was 7; I built the bookcase in my bedroom when I was 12; and I’m in the process of helping my father restore a 1968 Plymouth Suburban station wagon that has been in the family since he was a teenager. So having a wrench in my back pocket was completely legitimate. I only wish now that it had <em>stayed</em> there …</strong></p><p></p><p>Sixty-three words were wasted on the first paragraph … almost entirely hackneyed drivel! The second paragraph is immediately engaging, and the author should have saved those initial five-or-so-dozen words and started with the Volvo window.</p><p>Likewise, take a look at what you can lop off of <em>your</em> essay, but don’t feel that it’s imperative that you cut it down to exactly 500 words, if 50 or fewer extras will still fit in the space.</p><p>(posted 6/21/2012)</p>
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